a brief journey into the heart of contemporary shamanism

"i went to this last year. the ambiance sets you adrift..."

a group of bicyclists rode by, their wheels, larger than usual, propped the cyclists high above the cars, and they pedaled by, lights flashing, a radio on one bike playing toto's "africa," as everyone on the streets smiled and waved.

i felt violet shiver a little, as oscar and i walked on either side of her. my heart thumped against my chest like the dull thud of a hooked carcass pounding against a butcher shop's window on a particularly windy day. the beginning of the night glittered clear with hope, and on the winter streets, excitement, phones ringing, scarves, hats, metropolitan brightness beneath the chaos of swirling black and gray, as we walked in our own dark city, where the neons in the distance throbbed, and the moonlight's silent sparks reflected in tangents like small magazine poetry. the cinema across the square was bright and humming with mingling people. two doves hung in the window of a chinese restaurant.

"this was a great call, man," i said to oscar.

"everything's awfully pretty," violet said.

we walked up to the cinema's ticket window and purchased our tickets to the zombie movie marathon. it had started a couple hours ago, and people were coming and going.

"should we get popcorn?"

"we won't consider not getting popcorn."

we bought some popcorn and went to take our seats. violet sat between oscar and i. the theatre was filled with all the hip angels of enormous libraries, beer-tingled and wondrous. we settled in, and oscar began talking with violet about film. i sat there sheepishly and watched the screen and the brain-hungry zombies, all the while feeling violet's womanness, her quick eyes, every detail - the sombre freckle on her chin. i was quieter than the first time we met, and i was sure she thought me mad, or possibly just another dull, drunken poet, mimicking rimbaud at midnight, sipping whiskey soaked coffee.

i placed my elbow next to hers, and she turned.

"do you remember holding hands briefly the last time we met?" she asked quietly.

"i do," i said, "there's something breathless about small gestures like that."

"what is it do you think?"

"um, it's the way a concavity blends with a convexity that electrifies skin."

i smiled, she smiled, we felt close.

oscar asked if we wanted to stay for "shaun of the dead." violet said she had to be getting home, so we left, walking back into the swirling night. oscar flirted with violet in the street, and i watched half-heartedly. we talked about future plans, and i asked for her number.

"you already have it," she laughed.

i smiled. "must've misplaced it."

"well, you were quite merry."

she gave it to me again, and we said goodbye. oscar nudged violet playfully in the street, and i walked in the opposite direction. she turned in her unseasonal espadrilles, eyes shining, and waved. our glances married, bedded, rolled and laughed.

think of how somewhere inside me, there will always be the person you see tonight.

i exhaled a frosty mist and was left holding a small bird.